i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
