i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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