I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
