go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize