I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
