Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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