im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
