I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
