if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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