Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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