so explain again why im purple
no
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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