I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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