im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Damn victory sex feels great
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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