margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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