Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
