You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
