I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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