How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
