quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize