we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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