Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
