and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
