Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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