You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
