She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize