Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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