I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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