Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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