your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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