tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
