So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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