Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
