I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize