She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
