I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
