ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
