she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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