so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
