Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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