Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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