What a fucking waste of an outfit
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
PANTIES FOUND
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
