i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
