Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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