i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
