He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
