ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
