So drunk its hurt
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize