You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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