You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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