Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
