I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
