Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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