sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
