he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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