You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
