I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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