sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
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Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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