Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
