lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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