With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
