if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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