I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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