that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
