i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
