i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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