you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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