I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
