a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
